Swingers guide
Must-visit swinger site: San Francisco / San Jose Swinger Personals
Simple tips for newbie swingers
by Anne Curvey

Things to consider for those who are just starting out in the lifestyle. Figure out your limitations and priorities for exploring the lifestyle together. You and your sweetheart have finally made the decision to do it! After all the Internet ads, all the magazines articles, after hearing all about it from friends, you're finally going to take the big step -- you're going to try swinging. It sounds so exciting and fun. But will it be fun for you?

You've talked about it for months and you're both confident that you can handle seeing each other with other people. In fact, you're pretty much turned on just thinking about it, so much so that every time you talk about it you end up having sex. You have discussed your rules i.e. safe sex, same room, no anal, no single or bi males, both of you must be attracted to the couple etc. - you are ready!

First and foremost protect yourselves as well as your potential partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, Chlamydia, yeast infection, etc., the use of condoms should not offend anybody. If you're a first time swinger, it is highly recommended that you get a "Full Panel STD Blood Draw" that will check for all STDs including Herpes and Hep A,B & C. Many places do this free of charge and if you get a full physical -- ask your doctor for that specific draw. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not being accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection.

Start off on the right foot -- On your first venture into the swinging scene you may feel somewhat uneasy about seeing your mate with someone else. Some "swingers" want to share swinging with their mate and feel uneasy having their mate leave to another room with someone. Everyone has their own reasons for their feelings and all feelings are real and should be respected. To avoid embarrassment or disillusionment, discuss your inhibitions with your mate beforehand. Both of you may be more comfortable after talking to other couples and learning how they handled your first "swinging" experience.

Some people will probably "break the ice" by introducing themselves, along with other couples they know. It's their way of making you feel at home. Feel free to join in their conversation and you'll find that most of them will be happy to answer any questions you may have about the "swinging" lifestyle. Be open and honest -- tell them that you are new to "swinging" and you'll discover how helpful people can be.

While you are advised to be congenial and outgoing, don't be "pushy". Many couples who are new to "swinging" often have unrealistic expectations and are not prepared to handle the rejections that may occur. Freshly showered, perfumed, and neatly dressed people make more contacts. Don't let your personal physical idiosyncrasies stop you from having a good time. No one is perfect, although it is common for new "swingers" to see others as more attractive or more verbal as themselves. Don't let your mind be your enemy. Be prepared to handle rejection -- don't take it personally.

Whether at an on-premise club or a private house party, you are there to have the best time and to share the uninhibited enjoyment associated with those who have discovered a new dimension in this lifestyle. Once you have become familiar with the surroundings and your hosts, try to become as at ease as you would be at any other social gathering. Don't hesitate to introduce yourselves to other people. You'll find them eager to welcome you and to help you blend into their circle of sincere camaraderie.

A few other tips for 'newbies':

  • Be prepared -- Take whatever you need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, mouthwash, cologne, douche, condoms, etc. If you plan to stay over bring a change of clothes for the next day.
  • Be clean -- Nothing turns a person off faster and more than a stinky body or nasty breath. Even if you shower and gargle before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again before you play.
  • Alcohol and Drugs -- Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over-indulging may hamper your physical abilities as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to get high or drunk to swing, you are in the wrong lifestyle.
  • What to wear -- Dress sexy, but if it's your first time and you are not sure of what you plan to do, save slutty for next time.

Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.

Welcome to the Lifestyle!

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