Swingers guide
Must-visit swinger site: San Francisco / San Jose Swinger Personals
How to read people: what are their intentions?
by Anne Curvey

There are many ways of how to tell what others are looking for. You can easily weed out those who are not of your pace, and go straight to those who are. You and your partner just arrived at the hottest swing club in the city. You are greeted at the door by the host or hostess and since it is your first time at that particular club you are given the standard walk through. Disco lights are flashing, music is going strong and the people look hot! It's kind of early; doesn't look like any playing was going on yet, people are just mingling and talking; looking and just having a great time.

The tour is over and you thank the host. It's a BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze) club so you find your way to the bar for a cocktail and to make a pass in front of the other guests to ensure that you've both been seen and noticed; after all, you didn't get all dressed up for nothing. You're both wearing sexy clothing, but hopefully you won't be wearing it for too long because it can be uncomfortable.

You position yourselves in an area where you can see the door and everyone coming in and out. The two of you do a visual to assess your surroundings and to see who's playing and who's not. Just by looking around you can get a feel of what everyone's intentions are.

One way to spot the real players is how they dress. Or better yet, how the female is dressed. Guys tend to be very casual by wearing just a pair of slacks and a collared shirt. Every once in the while you'll see the really fit types wear a tight designer t-shirt or maybe even a sleeveless shirt to reveal muscular arms. The guys have sex appeal but it's the women that really get your attention. Oh the naughty things they wear. It's a sure bet that ladies wearing a long dress that covers her legs, jeans or slacks and looking really plain (you know, the Mother Hubbard look) are sending a message that they aren't playing tonight. I could be wrong, but it has always been our experience with couples where the lady is dressed real conservatively, that they are usually new, voyeurs and just looking, or she's on her period but doesn't mind if he plays ( you know the type ). Women dressed more loosely and very sexy, wearing very short skirts without panties, spandex, latex or a very revealing tops, are sending a massage, "We are here to play tonight."

Eye contact is another way to spot potential fun. As with anything in life; if someone isn't interested in you, they will keep looking away from you every time you look in their direction. Or, if they find you really unpleasant, they may just move. Eye contact has got to be the most outright clear way of saying, "buzz off" without saying the words. On the other hand, those who find you two particularly attractive will not just look you in the eye from across the room but may flirt with you too. Be ready to return the favor!

How about a dance? Now you're on the dance floor shaking your booties. Bump! "Hey….! All of sudden you turn your head and see this sexy female looking you both in the eye with big luscious hungry lips and incredibly sexy attire. "Can I dance with you two? You shake your head avidly and say "Yes, please do." Her partner, not to far behind, joins in and in no time the little dance romp turns into a full swap right on the dance floor. With each partner dancing with the opposite sex it gets hot and heavy. You are having a blast! They ask if you want to leave the dance floor and go down stars and "have some fun." Is this a match or what?

Starting a conversation is a perfect way to see who is interested in playing. Simply approach a couple that you find attractive and start a candid conversation with them. If they spend a lot of time talking politics and world events and "what do you do for a living" type questions, this couple is probably not looking to play or they are not interested. Politely excuse yourself and move on to another couple.

When you've had it with the guess work and want to make sure you don't have any last minute disappointments, chatting with a couple on line a few weeks before going out is an excellent way to ensure you will both have fun. By chatting before hand, you lay out on the table exactly what you both want. All four of you agree in advance what you would like to do or not to do with each other. When you finally meet, you can have all the fun mentioned above, only this time with benefits and without guess work.

No strategy is fool proof, but one of them is bound to get you results. So, pick the one you are most comfortable with, or do a combination of them all, and have fun!

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