Swingers guide
Must-visit swinger site: San Francisco / San Jose Swinger Personals
Single men in the lifestyle
by Eric Nevski

Love them or hate them - you will probably consider playing with one or more of them sooner or later. How to choose so few from so many available? Even though swinging lifestyle is mainly about couples, single men play a big part in it as well. Quite a few couples enjoy having their lovemaking shared not with a couple, but with another male. Unlike couple to couple swapping, the threesome encounters with a single man happen when whether a woman enjoys both men at the same time, or with a husband watching on the sideline while his wife embraces in lovemaking with another male.

In the modern society women are expanding their horizons in their sexuality. Things that couldn't even be talked about a couple of decades ago are now becoming very common elements of women's sexuality. Just like most men have a fantasy of being with two women at the same time, more and more women now too have a fantasy of pleasuring two men at once. Many times they want one of them to be their husband or boyfriend, but some prefer to be taken by two strangers, which is part of the thrill.

Swinging sexual encounters are mainly about two things - enjoying a partner different from your loved one, and watching your loved one with someone else. As that formula usually works for most, some men prefer to only watch while their wives prefer to only be watched. Those couples require only a single male to satisfy both of their fantasies.

There are several ways how encounters happen between a couple and a male. Some husbands like to just watch their wives enjoy someone else in front of them. In that case, the husband may at first let his wife go out on a date with a guy who they both consider inviting into their bedroom. Those dates are usually no strings attached meetings just to get the chemistry going between the wife and the single man without the husband present. However, most prefer for all three to go out together. When everyone feels comfortable and things get steamy, the sexual encounter usually happens at a hotel or at the couple's place. Husband mostly observes while his wife enjoys her lover in front of him. Many times the husband photographs or videotapes the session. It is a good idea to warn your guest up front that you would like to document the encounter, as not everybody is comfortable with it.

Some men let their wives have the encounters all by themselves and tell them about it afterwards. It is thrilling for some husbands to be left out from the actual encounter. In that case most men like to make love to their wives right after they come back from their dates. Sometimes, the wife may bring a video or pictures of her encounter with her lover, so both can watch while making love. Or sometimes, the husband prefers to listen in on the encounter via phone or from a neighboring room. There are really many variations of this type of encounters and how they happen, but all of them usually satisfy all parties' fantasies.

Most popular way for a couple to enjoy a single male is to have the encounter with the wife enjoying both the husband and another man at the same time. Many women prefer to perform oral sex on one man while having an intercourse with another. Some enjoy what is called a "double-penetration", or "dp", where the woman is enjoying a vaginal intercourse and anal intercourse at the same time by both men. This way both members of the couple get to participate and enjoy the experience physically.

Even though there are a lot of couples out there looking for a single male to join their sex lives, there are even more single males who are trying to find those couples. Unfortunately many single males are in it for all the wrong reasons, which makes it very difficult for couples to filter out the right men. Many single males think that joining a swinging couple is an easy way to get sex with no strings attached. Some are not really single, but married men looking for an easy and discrete way to cheat on their wives. However, they all fail to understand that they are only guests invited into a sex life of a couple. It is about their fantasies and their desires that they are wishing to bring into reality. It requires a single man to fully understand why the couple is seeking to bring in an outsider into their bedroom and to realize that the couple has a special loving relationship with each other that goes beyond just sex. The potential sexual experience with another man is something that needs to be approached very delicately and respectfully by all parties.

Both husband and wife have to be comfortable with a male to even consider inviting him into their sex life. Most women don't like pushy men who can't wait to get them in bed and get off. Usually it is very apparent to a couple when a man is trying to get laid just for his own thrill verses someone who is truly enjoys and understands the lifestyle. Also, a husband has to be very comfortable with another guy in order to share his wife with him. Being pushy, rude or ignorant to either member of the couple or their desires will usually get the couple disinterested in the whole encounter.

If you are a single male who is truly interested in joining another couple for a sexual experience, you should be honest and upfront about everything. Try to understand what a couple is interested in and why. Understand how their relationship works and find out what their limits and boundaries are. It will help you if you don't rush things in the beginning. Make sure to communicate with both members of the couple, so they can be comfortable with you as well as you comfortable with them. Chat on line or on the phone and find out more about them as people. If they wish, meet with them with no strings attached, so everyone could be comfortable with everyone. Many couples will ask for a recent STD test. Don't try to talk your way out of getting one done just because you think you're clean. If they ask for it - it must be done. Also, make sure to find out what kind of protection everyone is comfortable with using. Some couples are very concerned about their health and will not only use condoms for an intercourse with an outsider, but also for oral sex as well.

The encounters between couples and single males vary in their exclusivity and commitment. Some couples look for just a one-time deal with a man and then move on to the next one. However, some prefer more of an ongoing relationship. Many couples end up choosing only one male to join them on regular bases for sexual encounters and stay with him for a long time. Those couples usually develop a friendship with their single partner and many times do things outside of the bedroom that do not necessarily involve sexual activities.

It maybe a very hard process for some couples as well as single males to find the right partners to share their bedroom with, but once you have found a good match, your encounters most likely will be amazing experiences that you will never forget.

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