Safe sex at swinger parties
by Anne Curvey
Let's face it -- for those of us who are in it and love it, the swinging lifestyle is fun, exciting and does a lot for our self-esteem and our sex life. However, it's not without a risk. Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) are real and it could be your reality if you don't play it safe.
HIV is relatively rare in the lifestyle. We are a small community and news travels fast. I have only heard of one lifestyle couple (I did not know them personally, but I read about them during my research) that had AIDS. This was ten years ago and they were both bi and IV drug users, putting them in a very high-risk category.
There is no question that there is some risk in swinging. However, the reason it has not caught hold in the swinging community is that vaginal intercourse is not the most efficient means of transmission. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and other research I have read, the chances of a woman contracting HIV from an infected man through vaginal intercourse is less than 1 in 1,000 incidences and this includes people with other co-factors such as other STDs that make them more likely to become infected. In a normal healthy person, the risk level could go significantly lower. Of course, if you are having sex with someone who is infected on a very regular basis, such as in a marriage, the odds go up dramatically that you will become infected. It is significantly less likely that a woman will transmit the infection to a man.
Statistically speaking, according to the latest findings, most swingers practice safe sex. You are at greater risk of catching a STD if you play outside of the lifestyle at a dance club then if you meet someone at a swinger club who comes prepared to have sex with strangers. Practicing safe sex is, of course, an individual choice, but it is a very important choice -- this is the 21st century after all. Anyone's decision to use condoms should be politely accepted. Anyone not willing to accept someone's decision is acting irresponsible and disrespectful. To be quite frank -- you shouldn't have sex with anyone who does not practice safe sex.
When playing at swing party, here are a few very simple rules.
- Use condoms at all times -- bring your own just in case there are none provided at the party.
- Change condoms between partners -- never pull a "switch-a-roo" (using the same condom on a different partner.)
- Never do anal to vaginal sex with the same condom -- it will cause the lady to get an infection.
- Use a Dental Dam or even less expensive, try Saran Wrap, for oral and vaginal stimulation or cut a condom to serve the same purpose.
- Use a condom when giving head. Flavored condoms are available and are more enjoyable as they do not have that nasty spermicidal taste.
- Use latex gloves along with a good lubricate for fingering and probing.
Learn how to examine new partners. Go with your instincts, if it doesn't look right, smell right or taste right, it probably isn't right. Learn how to milk (stroke from the base up to the tip a couple of times) and examine a penis before sucking it. If you notice a green sticky substance or thick yellow gooey stuff dripping out, you should graciously decline playing with that person. Look for little blisters around the head of the penis - this could be an indication that the person has Herpes, but be careful not to confuse these for razor bumps in the pubic area.
Showering before sex is an excellent way to examine your potential partner. You can get "hands on" helping them clean the areas that you will most likely be concentrating on. This is also a way to "bond" with the other person thereby making the sex even more enjoyable and fun. Showering immediately before and after sex is a sure fire way to avoid many infections or viruses and I "recommend" gargling with Listerine too. What a great way to get rid of possible unpleasant tastes or odors. An ounce of prevention will save you a pound of headache and an embarrassing trip to your Gynecologist or General Practitioner.
When you meet a couple, ask them the hard questions like
- How long they been in the lifestyle?
- Do you practice safe sex outside of your relationship?
- Do you play with high-risk people like Bi men, IV drug users or TV's?
- When was the last time you were checked for HIV and STD's?
These are all legit question to ask any potential sex partner. Anyone who is offended by or refuses to answer these types of questions are people that you shouldn't be having sex with. Bottom line -- it's always better to be safe than sorry!