Swingers guide
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Can you swing it at a non-swinger bar?
by Anne Curvey

You'll probably find yourself attracted to another couple at a regular bar or a party. Is that a good idea to approach them with a proposition to swing? Meet Sandra and Pete. A young couple, both professional, good looking, married for nine years and very secure in their relationship. They are in the lifestyle, have been for about eight months, they are having a great time meeting new couples; enjoying the added spice to their marriage and looking to fulfill each others fantasies. They are members of a couple of swing websites and have attended a few local clubs and dances.

The weekend was quickly approaching and the kids were going to stay at grandpa and grandma's house. Perfect! Pete recommends drinks and dinner at their favorite restaurant and maybe a movie afterwards. Sandra was ecstatic about the idea; they haven't been out in quite a while because of their busy schedules and the kids.

Dinner was fantastic; they flirted like teenagers across the table and even played footsies with each other. By now, they were both so sexually aroused that they decided to skip the movie and just go home and play. As they left, they passed by the billiards hall, which was packed with people. Sandra suggested, "Honey, how about a game of pool before we go home?" Pete quickly agreed, and said, "Maybe we can get a couple to come home and play with us?"

Is this possible? Can you find another swing couple in a non-swinger environment?

Meeting swingers in a regular bar setting is not as easy as one might think. Although swingers come from every walk of life, age, shape, and color, there is simply no way to know if they are indeed swingers or if they would even be interested in swinging. You can't tell by looks; you can't tell through casual conversation. The only way to really know initially would be if you walked around carrying a sign saying, "Yes, we're swingers too!" And of course, you could always save yourself a lot of time by just attending a swing party.

Sandra and Pete made their way to the bar, ordered a couple of drinks, and paid for two games of pool. They selected a table that offered a good view of the bar and the door so they could see who was coming and going. "Rack 'em baby!" Pete said as a really nice looking female and 2 guys came in and sat down at the bar. After about 30 minutes one of the guys left, leaving just the woman and one guy at the bar. Pete made eye contact with the guy; you know gave him the "guy nod" and then looked away. A few minutes later, the guy came over and asked if they wanted to play doubles. Sandra and Pete looked at each other and said "Sure!"

After some idle chitchat Pete found out that the couple was married, that they worked together in the same building, that didn't have any children and that this was their favorite watering hole. Everything was going great! The conversation flowed and there was lots of laughter. There were even a few light sexual innuendos going back and forth. Sandra was thinking if Pete was taking this all to mean these guys were swingers? Well, she didn't have to think any further. Pete was feeling pretty loose and he took the conversation to sex, particularly "wife swapping." Sandra said to herself "Oh no, don't tell them we're swingers!" Too late, that's exactly what Pete did. He started telling them about Sandra's gang bang fantasy and about his threesome fantasy with a large breasted female. He went on about how they had done soft swing with a few couples at this club and that club that they had attended.

Well, the guy looked at his wife and subtly pointed to his watch. Anyone with half a brain could tell that he wasn't comfortable talking about such things to a total stranger and he wanted out of there fast. Obviously, they weren't swingers and the Pete read them all wrong. Next thing, they politely excused themselves and they were gone.

Sandra was in shock and mortified that Pete would bring up the subject so immediately with people they had just met. She gathered her thoughts and calmly turned to her husband and asked, "Honey, why did you feel the need to talk to total strangers in a bar about our private sex lives? "Wouldn't it have been better for them to make the first move?" Pete explained how he was getting vibes from the wife and that he felt there was a strong possibility of taking them home; it seemed like an opportunity of a lifetime. Sandra thought for a moment and then said, "Let me get this straight. You wanted to take total strangers, people that we spent less than an hour with, people we know nothing about, to our home to have sex with?" Pete said, "Hell, yeah!" Sandra just shook her head and said, "Are you crazy?"

Swingers must remember one very important thing; this lifestyle isn't for everyone. In fact, some people may find it down right repulsive, especially coming from strangers you meet for the first time. In this case, the wife was merely a flirt, not to be confused with being a swinger.

Swing clubs and other swing forums should be your only source of contact to find and hook up with other swingers. At least in that forum you can rest assured that everyone there is there for the same reason, to swing, no matter what the level. You'll know what you're getting into and you'll be able to make a better, safer, wiser decision.

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